Boyfriend For Sale

Location:
Price: best offer

Up for sale one gently used but still in good condition boyfriend (1980 model, all parts in good working order, comes with remote

Sex: varies
Programmable: yes
Condition: a few dents
Special skills: puts toilet seat down after use
Training: self-cleaning, chivalry
Personality: funny, honest
Known defects: video game habit
Runs on: Thai food and hamburgers
Habitat: midtown Manhattan

Purchaser must be:
* Financially stable - Not only for purchase but continuing expense because boyfriend works menial job, you will have to pay rent, his bills, and various maintenence fees.
* Have high pain tolerance - boyfriend is visual creature and you will be expected to wear high stilettos at all times, when going out, when cooking his meals, when doing his laundry, even when jogging (jogging is a must as you need to be so thin as to be almost invisible when you turn sideways.
*Have tattooed on make up - to avoid owner confusion you, like TV actresses, must look perfectly made up and beautiful when you wake up in the morning, when working out, and even during a shower.

Reason for selling: Time to upgrade to a better model